A is for Asgard, where the Gods spend their day. B is for Bifrost, between the worlds it lay.
C is for Courage, the strength to overcome fear. D is for Day, she follows Night throughout the year.
E is for Embla, the mother of us all. F is for Freyja, chooser of those who fall.
G is for Gungnir, from its course it never strays. H is for Heimdall, his horn, Gjallar, he plays.
I is for Iduna, keeper of the apples of gold. J is for Jormungand, around the earth, his tail he holds.
K is for Kvasir, from his blood came inspiration. L is for Lore, the stories for our edification.
M is for Mjollnir, Jotuns it smites. N is for the Norns, the Wyrd they write.
O is for Odin, he, who Fenrir shall fight. P is for Protection, given by Thor’s great might.
Q is for Question, for knowledge to gain. R is for Ragnarok, when all begins again.
S is for Sigurd, the slayer of the dragon. T is for Thor, thundering in his wagon.
U is for Ullr, by whom the hunt is blessed. V is for the Vanir, by whom nature is dressed.
W is for Wyrd, the web that connects all things. X is for Xenodochy and the Luck it brings. *(xenodochy = hospitality… you try thinking of an Asatru related word that begins with ‘X’
Y is for Yggdrasil, where Odinn hung alone. Z is for Zisa, by whom peace is sown.
HAPPY FIRST BLOOMING!! It’s SPRING! Our weather totally wasn’t ready for this two weeks ago… But now, we even have a nest outside!!
Another sign of spring? Check out the momma Mallard nesting next to our front door.
Check out all these eggs!
This Pagan’s thoughts on Easter+__________:
The theme of a god or goddess who dies and resurrects is as old as the seasons and finds its way into just about every mythology I can think of. There is no good evidence to tie Ishtar and Easter together beyond the fact that they use the same life-death-rebirth theme which comes free in every mythology starter kit. Correlation does not imply causation.
I had to thank him profusely for that. For the past few days I’ve been inundated with the “Easter comes from Ishtar” meme on Facebook. And so, my public service announcement (which I guess makes me fall into category #4 in his actual post) is that Easter does not come from Ishtar, and (for that matter) Eostre might have nothing to do with it either.
There are plenty of things I find more annoying than this habit among Pagans, but…its still pretty annoying. If someone wants to celebrate Ishtar at Easter, that’s their own business (as well as the-possibly-not-historical Eostre for Ostara)…but promulgating it as some sort of persecution complex about how all our holidays were “Co-opted by Christianity” or trying to make it some superiority gig because “ours came first” is just…well, I’m never sure if its ignorance (willful or not), deliberate disingeniousness or just plain intellectual dishonesty, but either way, I’m lacking the energy to point it out for myself this year.
Meet Sapphire, the Ostara Fairy! First Blooming is the time when the trees start to leaf, the flowers start to show off their riotous beauty, and its the favorite time of year for Sapphire, who loves the bright colors of eggs, the soft fluff of newborn bunnies and the fresh scent of spring air. Chickadee says that she lives in a field of tulips, under a tent woven by spiders, from their spider silk (not the sticky kind). She has a path of bottle caps as stepping stones that lead the way from her tent to the Crystal River, where her very best good friend Emerald lives (you might remember that Emerald is the fairy for Beltane, but if you don’t that’s okay…we’ll be talking about her soon!).
Sapphire’s job is to organize the springing of Spring. She talks and sings songs to the soil to help seeds sprout, puts baby birds back into nests when they fall out, and finds the best patches of sweet clover for baby bunnies. We can help her do these things too, in our own neighborhoods, since its really hard for her and her friends to be everywhere. Sapphire knows that she can depend on the little witchlets to take care of their Place, so that she can concentrate on the Places of the world without a witch.
Our altar for Spring!
Right now I’m…making dinner and having a drink. I really like simple and easy dinners after a long day. Especially anything with an easy clean-up, one dish to wash is best! Two frozen chicken breasts, two dozen halved brussel sprouts tossed in olive oil, and a halved yellow squash face down on a baking sheet (all sprinkled with a smattering of garlic salt, basil, and lemon pepper) at 375 degrees F, and 45 minutes later, dinner is served! Delish!
We are watching the neighbor’s baby, which has brought out Chickadee’s desire for a baby sister. The hubby and I are pretty sure we are done–we’ve replaced ourselves, and I tend to think that environmentally, that is enough. Still, sometimes I get the urge to have another cuddlebug…and while that could probably be a blog post all on its own, what I was really going to mention was the conversation that just came out of this event. It went like this: Chickadee: Mom, I want a baby sister. Me: Babies are expensive and a lot of work. Chickadee: Well I can feed her, and rock her, and make sure she doesn’t choke. Me: They are still expensive. Chickadee: Well that’s not fair! Babies should be free! Why does it cost so much to buy a baby?!? Me: Phee, you don’t buy a baby! They don’t come from the store! Chickadee: Well, duh! They come from your va-GI-na. But you still have to pay to get them out.
I have to say, I’m a pretty darn proud feminist liberal momma at the moment–my six year old not only realizes that affordable medical care should be a “duh” idea, but she ALSO uses the correct terminology for lady parts (all my fault, with help from the hubby).
And, while we are on the subject of vaginas…really? REALLY?
And now, for something completely different…
Check this out! Totally on my list of summer fun places to take the kids!
I might be starting a new job soonish…but first, I need to stop procrastination blogging and finish my security clearance package! (it can take months for a security clearance to come through, in the mean time, the busy season at work is picking up)
I’ve been thinking about writing a book on Pagan(ish) parenting…but its just an idle thought.
All of existence, at some level, is part of a sacredness of the cycle of creation and destruction. The very act of be-ing is sacred. The body is sacred, sex is sacred, joy, pain, anger, hope…the earth, the land, the sea, the sky…each other.
We are sacred. Children of the gods, of the Divine, of the Earth, or of the Universe…whatever you want to call us.
(me)
The Hubby and I don’t believe in The Sex Talk. We believe in talking to our kids about sex (and gender and sexuality), we just think it should be a life-long conversation. We think its so important, that we took the time to discuss these ideas while the kids were still in the womb, and its been an ongoing conversation behind the scenes too. It seems odd to me that we (as a culture) would leave this sort of topic to just a talk…we wouldn’t teach children to read in a single lesson, we shouldn’t teach them about their bodies and their hearts that way either.
(better than nothing, I suppose)
I suppose it is better than leaving them in the dark completely, or worse, that its deviant or evil or unclean. I’ve met those people, in my official capacity when I was a corpsman in the Navy and unofficially when I overheard a conversation in the hallway at college or the mall…people who didn’t know how they got an STD, or why their behavior was risky…people that had never been taught to use a condom properly, or taught how to get a partner to use one, or taught about how their body actually worked, or how their partner’s body actually worked. And that scares me…ignorance is how diseases spread, it is how people get pregnant before they are equipped to handle it, how people end up taking advantage of a drunk partner, and how people end up feeling shamed and guilty when they are raped. It seems just as odd (though understandable) that we would not teach our male children the same thing we teach our female children and our female children the same things we teach our male children–there is a good chance that our children will need that information when they consider their partners later on, and even if they don’t, they might need that information for their own opposite geneder children or friends later on.
In our family, we’ve made the body, including its reproductive capabilities, and healthy relationships, including sexual ones, an ongoing discussion in our family since the kids could talk. Chickadee is six, and so far (because she has expressed an interest), she knows where babies come from, the biological differences between males and females, that some people might be biologically male and feel female on the outside (and vice versa), and the general mechanics of what sex is (Sharkbait is 4, and he just could care less, so he pretty much knows his own anatomy and that his sister doesn’t have it). And guess what?!?The more Chickadee (and eventually Sharkbait) knows, the less impressed she is by any of it, and the more she understands about her own body and how it works (and how it is hers). She also knows that families are all different, that some are two women or two men (her best friend when we visit Grandma has two mommies, as she says), that some are grandparents, or a mom without a dad, or a dad without a mom, etc. Kids are smart, and I don’t think that for most children, it is too much of a stretch to expect that they will put those things together. Personally, I would rather have built the “street credit” with my child before hand.
I was lucky enough to have that kind of upbringing (albeit on a more limited basis that what we envision for our children), my husband was not. Growing up, I would never have wanted to talk about sex with my dad. In fact, at my wedding (after having lived with The Hubby for about six months), my dad (jokingly) said “So……..you’re still a virgin, right?”. My response was “Dad, even when I pop out a grandkid, I’ll still be a virgin just so you don’t have to think about it!” His response was “Thank god, because I’d have no idea what to tell you if you were” followed by an awkward pause and “You are on birth control, right? You will have a better relationship if you wait a couple years.”
Good advice, but still…thank goodness my momma was a nurse and they had decided to put her in charge of my sex ed. Even then, it was entirely about heterosexual sexuality, and mainly in the context of the mechanics of sex for the purpose of preventing pregnancy and STD’s. My mom was a nurse, and I don’t ever remember not knowing about what sex was, even if I didn’t know about the variety of sexual relationships until much later. I vaguely remember this book, called Where Did I Come From (and really, its decent).
(the video is the animated version of the book)
In an open and encouraging family where sex and sexuality is treated as something normal, I’m hoping that we, the parents, are where these conversations start (and where they end up) before (and after) the big wide world has had its chance at misinformation. (I might add that means we actually need to know what we are talking about when we start talking about sex…and that we need to be modeling the tone in a relationship that we would like for our children to experience as well)
I think that it is our responsibility as parents to teach our children the biology of their body and the mechanics of sex and preventing pregnancy and disease. But that isn’t our only responsibility to our children. We also need to make sure that our children know how to use that knowledge, that they are self-aware enough to understand if they are not ready (and when they are), that they value themselves enough to be able to say “NO” under pressure from someone they love. We need to make sure they have enough knowledge to enjoy it (if we are all honest, we all know that it takes some work to get it spectacular) and that they know it is okay to enjoy sex with a consenting (and hopefully committed partner. We need to teach them about masturbation and heterosexuality as part of the norm of human sexuality and not something to be ashamed of. As a Pagan (in a way that I don’t think I would have, were I still Christian, even the liberal and progressive sort of Christianity of my youth) I want my children to know that their bodies are precious, and that they are sacred…and that covering them up (or not) is their choice.
I think this is especially important when it comes to bodily autonomy, which is a problem for all children, male and female, gay and straight. Raising children with fuzzy ideas of bodily autonomy puts themselves and others in very real danger. We live in a culture that has perverted the images of health and beauty, that has glorified rape, that has pigeonholed gender roles, and that shames women for daring to enjoy sex. If we don’t start this conversation now, and lay the foundation for our children to have a healthy attitude towards their own bodies, someone else will teach them to be ashamed of themselves, to live fearful of what others might do to them, and worse, to think they deserve it.
So readers, what about you, what are your own plans with your children (whether you have any yet or not)? OR, what how have you handled this already, for those of you with older kids? Is their an age that you thing it *should* be brought up? Or do you think it should wait until they bring it up? Are their subjects that you think are taboo? How would/did you broach topics like homosexuality, masturbation, fetishes, birth control? How do you handle nudity in your home? How do you handle your teen age daughter wanting a vibrator (a conversation I overheard at the store once)–or son wanting the male equivalent, or either a girl or a boy being open about wanting porn (personally, I thought it was pretty impressive to see that sort of honest and comfortable relationship between a parent and kid at that age)? How do you think your family’s religion and spirituality should inform ideas like body image or sexuality?
Its 5 am on a Tuesday, as I start writing this. As with many posts, I have no clue how long it will actually take me to finish it, due to the myriad of things that can and do go on and go wrong and go right enough to get sidetracked in my day. Sharkbait decided to sleep with mom and dad around 11 last night after falling asleep on the couch around 9 (more than a wee bit after bedtime), and kicked dad out of bed. Daddy-man (the kidlets superhero name for The Hubby–he even has his own theme song) ended up on the couch (good thing its comfy) and as usual, we both woke up to our respective cell phone alarms, his at 4:30 and mine at 4:45. As usual, Sharkbait is awake and its barely 5 am…right now, his cold toes are digging in the gap between my thigh and the couch. Sharkbait is a burrower–both The Hubby and I have been kicked out of a queen sized bed by him, since he likes to squeeze down between us and curl up into a ball and then stretch out perpendicular to us to claim his territory. Occasionally he will join his sister instead, or end up on the couch. This is a typical night. Less typically, Sharkbait stays in his own bed.
Before Sharkbait was diagnosed with ADHD, I used to explain his personality as my “extreme sports kid”. As a baby, he was a bit fussier, a bit less sleepy, a bit more active than his sister had been. That all changed once he started moving–as soon as he could walk he could climb, he never crawled, and he was oblivious to his name, or to anyone talking directly to him. The only thing that he could sit still for was playing trains. At 2, he wouldn’t carry on a conversation with you, he wouldn’t even string two words together, but he knew the entire alphabet by sight. By 3, he would climb up onto the top of the fridge to break into the cabinet where the cookies were, rather than ask for a cookie…he was also almost kicked out of a part time preschool program, and to keep him enrolled, we were forced to take him to the pediatrician for evaluation (and she then referred him to for speech evaluation and to a specialist in the local children’s hospital’s neurology and development clinic.
Its Wednesday evening…it was a mostly good day for Sharkbait. We went to the zoo in the morning so there was lots of run around time. Unfortunately, the weather is supposed to be bad again. There were a few minor behavior challenges–trying to climb into one of the exhibits trying to feed the giraffes and the ostriches popcorn, not wanting to wait for another kid to have their turn climbing the rhino statue. Nap time didn’t happen though, and he didn’t take his medication because we were out. Needless to say, the evening was rough. I let Chickadee play upstairs with Little Miss later than I might have otherwise, because (quite frankly) Sharkbait is worse when he has an audience. Sometimes I feel like a seagull in finding Nemo…instead of “mine-mine-mine” its “close the door-close the door-close the door” or “put your shoes on-put your shoes on-put your shoes on”. I hate comparing my kids, they are so different, they are developing differently, and its not fair to them…but sometimes…sometimes, I wish Sharkbait was as easy as Chickadee was.
I took Sharkbait to see the specialist right about the time the American Academy of Pediatricians lowered the ADHD diagnosis age to 4. Since he had just turned three, he didn’t fit the criteria for an official diagnosis. The doctor was more than happy to give us a list of books and other resources to help with some of our many behavior challenges. The biggest thing we learned with Sharkbait is that we had to change how we parented and that what we did for and with Chickadee wouldn’t always work with him. To be honest, it was sort of a relief. Now we had a reason for his behavior, a reason that explained what was going on, and that offered us answers.
And, its Thursday. I’m tired. Is it wrong to love having a job just to escape my kids from time to time? I mean, my job is awesome and loads of fun on its own…but (once I get over the initial dragging my ass into work blahs), sometimes its escapism. Sharkbait went to day care/pre-school, today and had a good day. Thank the gods…I about cringe, wondering what he did at school when I go to pick him up sometimes. The Hubby was adamantly against medication. As an ADHD kid in the 80′s and early 90′s he’d had the unfortunate experience of being put on too much Ritalin and feeling like a zombie. But after Sharkbait had problems at school and at home, even where we could go outside and play and have lots of hands on and unstructured time, and lets not even mention what it is like to try to go out to eat or something!
We finally decided to try a non-stimulant med to sort of smooth out the edgers of his behavior. It was like night and day. We adjusted his meds about three weeks ago, after noticing his sleep patterns were getting wonky again, and his behavior was going downhill at school and at home. One of the guys I work with has an older son with ADHD, and we’ve talked a bit…apparently, this is normal and his medication needs will shift quite a bit as he grows, gains weight, is more or less active. ARGH! I can’t believe we gave in and have resorted to drugging our kid.
…but it works (and its Friday, by the way). The goals of medicating kids with ADHD have changed. He’s not a zombie, and he’s so much easier to work with. He does much better at school. Before we tried medication, we tried behavior therapy (it helps–but it helps even more with meds…as clinical studies demonstrate), we tried diet changes (the kid is the pickiest eater in the world), we tried outdoor time to the max (it helps, but its not practical every single day for 2-3 hours during the winter for two working parents), we tried…just about everything else. And it didn’t work for us. I’m not sure why I think I need to justify my decision to anyone…but I know that if I actually post this, there will be that one person that thinks they know better. Maybe they read some alternative medicine BS (not all alternative medicine is BS, but some of it is), or maybe they had a kid that was misdiagnosed (and therefore all kids are being misdiagnosed), or maybe for their kid it really was food allergies…but they will know better. Part of me doesn’t care. But I try to be honest with myself, part of me does care. Regardless of what really causes ADHD, someone will think its because we are bad parents, because we’d rather drug our kid than parent them, because our idea of parenting conflicts with theirs.
Today is Sunday. …I’m not really sure what I want to say. Normally, with a post, I have a pretty straightforward topic to attack. This is messy, and its personal. Right now we are trying to get ready for church. Everyone is ready to go, except for Sharkbait. He was ready, but decided to take his pants and shoes off for the third time. The Hubby is wrangling him into clothing, again, and breakfast should be done in just a few minutes. We’ve had 2 meltdowns since 6 (Chickadee is at a friends sleeping over and Sharkbait let us sleep in for a change), one over the bird not wanting to play parrot and another over the box not being cooperative in making the roof of a house to play in. I’ve cleaned up at least a dozen messes from spills and tipovers, vacuumed twice, saved the bird from the frisbee-like Captain America shield four times, gotten the play dough down and put the paints up, and taken the paints back down and put the play dough up, and gotten the play dough down and put the paints up, and taken the paints back down and put the play dough up, enforced time out for Lego clean-up four times, and made the same bed 3 times. I’ve been doing this since 6 am—its 8:30 now.
I’ve been pondering how much (or if at all) I want to write about our experiences with the kidlet’s ADHD. I’m not afraid of controversy or criticism…but I’m not sure how much I want to open that part of our lives up to scrutiny. At the same time, as Pagan parents, maybe we do have another perspective and a new voice to add for other parents with ADHD, and for Pagan parents with kids with ADHD. So, I guess I’ll post this anyhow before I start writing about ADHD, and about our family beliefs and practices have had to change to accommodate Sharkbait as well as how having a child with ADHD has changed our beliefs, practices, and even our family dynamics to some extent…for better or worse.
You may not have known, but its apparently not enough to just read to your children at bed time.
Really. There’s actually a technique to it…
I’m pretty fond of this, since its pretty close to what we naturally do anyhow when we read a story. But…I’m amused that it has its own acronym!
Start with the title
Identify the title, the author, and (if there is one) the illustrator (explain what these roles are if needed)
Point out the cover and the title page
Ask kids to predict what the story might be about by the title and the cover art
Tell the story
Act out the story using different voices for different characters, inflection and enunciation, etc. Be dramatic and make it fun. Point out key words. Encourage the kids to follow along with you. If there are repetitive terms or words, point them out, and develop a cue so they can chime in and help tell the story.
Offer information
Every few pages, stop and look at the illustrations. Have the kids describe in their own words what is going on. Further explain difficult concepts and ideas.
Review and Discuss
Ask comprehension questions. Have children retell the story using the illustrations as a guide. Discuss the characters and their motivations, the underlying message of the story, etc. Discuss if they have ever felt like the character or what they think it would be like to be in a similar situation, etc.
Your child’s turn
Draw a picture from the story
Make a collage about something in the story (the location, a character, etc)
Write a sequel or a prequel to the story
Retell the story as a song or pantomime
Create and share a new story with the same carachters
None is as free as one born on the wave,
Born on the wave to the song of the sea;
None can be brave until they are free,
Free of all, but the call of the sea.
I am a (occasionally doting) wife, a damn proud momma of two adorable and brilliant children, a veteran of the United States Navy, part-time steampunk hausfrau, beach addict, (American) Civil War reenactor and Victorian natural history aficionado, a canoeing fanatic, returned student and semi-erratic blogger.
If you have found this blog, you have also figured out that we are a Pagan family. More aptly, I would describe my theological belief as a pragmatic sort of pantheism and my religion as Unitarian Universalist Pagan...or maybe as a Spiritual Bioregionalist that belongs of a UU congregation. I am a practicing witch and herbalist, mainly working with domestic and elemental magics. For the most part, my blog covers a bit of all of these things, with a bit of randomness tossed in from time to time.
I enjoy my family, swimming, being nerdy, the great outdoors, NCIS re-runs, chai tea--iced or hot, aerobics, trashy romance novels, baking bread, singing off key, surfing the internet and painting. I also like long walks on the beach and NPR's Science Friday. I love to read. I am passionate watershed ecology and local conservation efforts. But most of all...I'm just trying to take extravagant pleasure in the act of being alive.
