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She is a little know deity, Her Holiness, the Great Goddess of Phuut (pronounced poot), but I am perhaps her greatest devotee. 

For the uninformed, the Great Goddess of Phuut is the goddess of smelly smells.  Her sacred places of worship include the bathroom, locker rooms, that area of department stores where the ladies all spray you with perfume as you walk past, and the elephant exhibit at the zoo.  Offerings can be made to her Holiness at any sacred receptacle–the dumpser, the toilet, the garbage disposal, or “on the go”, in what is (hopefully) a discreet manner.   The Great Goddess manifests herself as a beautiful woman, with the trunk of an elephant and a visible cloud of pink perfumed air (to protect her from the more noxious smells?).  She is a modern deity, created during a semi-drunken, wee-hours of the morning campfire discussion at a pagan festival, in accordance with steps 1-8 of Brian Gallaher’s “How to Create Your Own Religion in Ten Easy Steps” (only because I haven’t figured out the particulars for steps 9 and 10…and 11). 

Currently, I worship at her sacred altar frequently and vigorously…because I am pregnant.  Which means every smell is smelly.  And every smelly smell sends me running to worship at her sacred altar.

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