Monday Maxims: Practice What is Just

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Delphic Maxims, Justice, Martin Luther King, maxim monday, racism

Somewhere I read that the greatness of America is the right to protest for rights.*

At the beginning of this Maxim Monday enterprise I wrote about “being overcome by justice”, and its intersection with the 2nd principle of the Unitarian Universalist Association.  In it, I quoted Martin Luther King, Jr. a couple of times.  Somehow in a stroke of kismet or coincidence, I picked its companion maxim for Martin Luther King Day, not really thinking about the timing, until just before I sat down to write.  I had an entirely different post in mind until then…something in line with service (which I’ve talked about before) as a form of practicing justice…

The moral arc of the universe is long, but it bends toward justice.*

I think that this maxim happens to be one that Martin Luther King, Jr. might have been a fan of.

I’m not sure there is much I can say on this subject though, that he didn’t say.  And on that matter, I’d prefer to let him speak for himself.

There will be hundreds of posts and articles and news clips on Martin Luther King today, as a historical figure, as an icon for justice and civil rights, and as a husband and father.  I encourage everyone to watch or read them–the Civil Rights era is an important period of our time that we could all use to be more cognizant of…but this post is not about that, not precisely.

I think we all can agree that practicing justice is a good thing to do, even if we differ on what that means in our own lives, and how we feel compelled to express it.  Men (and women) like Martin Luther King do (and have done) a far better job of orating and demonstrating how we can be more just than I will ever be capable of doing.  But what I can do–probably my most important contribution towards bending the universe towards justice, is to teach my children what it means to be overcome by justice and to practice what is just, by talking to them about justice and our failings in living justly with honesty and integrity to the best of my ability and demonstrating just actions in my dealings with them and others.

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.*

Today my Chickadee asked me a very serious question that I wasn’t quite ready to answer,”Why did a white man kill Martin Luther King? Is it because he was black?”  For an almost six year old, this is a serious question that she just didn’t know the answer to.  But for me…this question was just a little bit heartbreaking.

Just last week, my baby girl though of skin color as nothing more than nature’s Crayola box.  Just last week, my baby girl would tell you that “I’m not white, I’m peach” and would correct anyone that might suggest her bus buddy with brown skin was “black”.  As far as she was concerned, our skin colors were no more significant than the colors of flowers, and they should be accurately described.  In a mostly white neighborhood, the most significant physical trait of her bus buddy was not the color of her skin, but that “Miss M has ponytails that are better than mine because they have poof.”

And now, not only did she want to know about The Man With A Dream (as she has taken to calling Martin Luther King)–a question much easier to answer than what would follow, but she wanted to know  why someone would be mean to someone for having a different color of skin.  And then she wanted to know why people would think that they were better than other people for having a different color of skin.  And then she wanted to know why people had owned other people.  And she wanted to know why we are white, when we are really peach, and why people that are brown are called black, and why any of that matters, because we are all just people.  And then she wanted to know if having white skin made people do bad things.

We must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. He who is devoid of the power to forgive is devoid of the power to love. There is some good in the worst of us and some evil in the best of us. When we discover this, we are less prone to hate our enemies.*

…And I had a hard time answering some of her questions.  I was raised in a family where skin color was treated like eye color…and I come from a place of racial privilege–I’ve experienced prejudice, but never on the basis of my skin color, and never as overt as that sort of prejudice can be.  I might intellectually understand that racism exists and where it stems from (we *do* do Civil War reenacting), but I don’t really understand the depths of hatred that it can and has descended to–I don’t get that kind of hatred, and I sure as hell don’t want my children to.  I might be guilty of saying something that is prejudiced simply because I come from a place of racial privilege, but that would be/would have been from ignorance, and not maliciousness (and I sincerely apologize if that has ever happened).

How do you explain all of that to a six year old?  Especially a six year old with a heart like butterfly wings (seriously, the kiddo gets upset at the idea of hurting someone’s feelings on accident), especially when there are six year olds around the world that LIVE this, on a daily basis. And if not now, from us, when and how will this lesson be taught?

The Hubby and I did our best to explain that people’s minds and hearts can and do change over time.  And that people that lived a long time ago had different ideas of what was right and wrong from ours, and that even then they argued over what was right and wrong like we do today.  Just because something was right (or wrong) then, doesn’t mean it has to stay that way…as our sense of morality grows into one that is more compassionate and more just, we can change what we do and say to be more equitable and to embrace equality…not just on a basis of race, but everywhere, for every quality that makes us different from one another.

We tried to tell her that sometimes people are afraid of people and things that are different from what they see or do on a daily basis and that sometimes people are afraid of change.  That sometimes when people are afraid, they think they need to fight against what they don’t understand, that the fear makes them hate, that the hate can poison their hearts, that poisoned hearts can make them do bad things.  We talked about the fact that people are just people, different and beautiful for it.  We talked about Martin Luther King, and that he believed in justice for all people that were disadvantaged, whether it be because of skin color, or economic status, or any of the other things that divide us, and we watched The Man With a Dream talk about the day when “little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers.”

I think that he might have liked to see Chickadee and Miss M skipping down the sidewalk, hand in hand, on their way for a play date.  I think that maybe, for all that practicing justice often means protesting, it can also means two heads bowed together over a coloring book, drinking cocoa, and watching My Little Pony.  Practicing justice is about doing what is right.  And what is more right than two six year olds than playing, together, oblivious to the controversies that might have stirred before they were even born?

*quotes are from Martin Luther King, Jr.

Maxim Monday: Gratify Without Harming

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#delphicmaxims, #paganvalues, an' it harm none, Delphic Maxims, empathy, harm none, maxim monday, Pagan Values, wicca

…eight words the Wiccan rede fulfill

A *gorgeous* banner from The Crackling Crows (check out her blog for more examples of her work, and keep tabs on when she reopens her etsy store!!)

I’d like to call Delphic Maxim #136 “the maxim for Wiccans”!

So, I’m a big fan of words (English or otherwise)–what they mean, where they come from, alternate and less popular secondary meanings, how they are used and how they can be used–subverted, if you will, etc.  The one, obvious term that these two sayings have in common is the word “harm”, and that is the word I want to focus on first.  Etymologically, “harm” means to hurt, it means grief, sorrow, insult, pain, and (interestingly to me) evil.

Evil tends to be an interesting subject in Pagan communities.  Views of what constitutes “evil” as a definition and as an action or behavior vary, but tend to emphasize the “I know it when I see it” subjectiveness of the idea of evil.  Of the many discussions (online and IRL) that I have encountered on the topic, my favorite definition comes from an essay on the Wiccan Rede from Proteus Coven—evil is a rip in the fabric of empathy.

We can only act with indifference towards the needs and feelings of others if they don’t seem to matter to us. When we are in a state of empathy, wholehearted and open awareness of our essential connection, then we know — experientially, not just theoretically — that our actions must inevitably come back on us. We cannot then cause harm without experiencing it ourselves.

(from the same essay)

I think it helps to look at harm in this way as well…as a rip in the fabric of empathy.  When we consider our actions on the level of empathy, what we do becomes personal.  It is hard to purposely cause harm when you know what that harm feels like.  As a mom, its my job to teach my children empathy–because (contrary to what some think) it isn’t actually a natural state (*cough* Ann Coulter *cough* Rush Limbaugh *cough*).  Empathy is something that develops over time and is a learned state of emotion, understanding and behavior.  Some kids ‘take’ to empathy more easily than others–Chickadee has an overload of empathy, and Sharkbait struggles with it (a common phenomenon in kids with ADHD).  As a parent of a kid with ADHD, I will admit that it can be downright hard to maintain an empathetic relationship with a kid with ADHD…in and of itself, maintaining that fabric of empathy is essential, not only to not harm our relationship, but to not harm Sharkbait’s capacity to develop socially (social skills are often a struggle for kids with ADHD as well).

The biggest problem with looking at harm (or evil for that matter) in this way is that it becomes subjective.  What I am sensitized to, in terms of my capacity for empathy overall and my ability to empathize on a particular subject specifically, differs from what and how another might feel.  For most Pagans, I doubt this is a problem (for most UU’s as well…I don’t think I’d be making an understatement if I said that defining moral absolutes is pretty low on the list for most of us)…but we all still differ here.  If the focus of my behavior should be to avoid or alleviate harm (and I think the latter is implied as a substitute) and my capacity to empathize is variable with the capacity of others, then what I perceive as undesirable behaviors will also differ.

To do as I will, or (in the Greek version) to gratify or seek gratification, depends on a subjective idea of beneficial (harmless, or at least relivable harm) actions.  Many a conversation that I  have engaged in or observed in the Pagan community has reached the eventual conclusion that causing no harm is an impossibility.  As guiding ideals, these are both wonderful places to start exploring one’s behavior as an individual and one’s place in a community.  But…as a practice, it is impossible to live to such a degree, where every action is harmless (as it seems some have interpreted the Wiccan Rede).  So thank goodness that ain’t what it says!

Both of these maxims come back full circle to the idea of “harm”–really of not harming.  For the Wiccan Rede its about the phrasing–“An it harm none”, literally, IF it causes no harm, do what you want.  And this phrasing brings it parallel to the Delphic Maxim–IF it causes no harm, indulge in that which brings pleasure and satisfaction!   Neither acts as a prohibition of harm, but instead both ask us to consider the results of our actions (of our whims and pleasures) and encourages us to choose the methods and madness that cause the least harm.

Chickadee’s Pantheon

Tags

deities, homeschool, indoctrination, made up pantheon, pagan parenting, teaching religion to kids

One of the things that always crops up in the wider Pagan parenting community is the question of  religious indoctrination when it comes to our children.

First, lets get the big, scary word out of the way.

Indoctrination: as per dictionary.com, “to instruct in a doctrine, principle, ideology, etc., especially to imbue with a specific partisan or biased belief or point ofview.”

I actually don’t have a problem with this term.  In my opinion, indoctrination is not synonymous with brainwashing–at least not automatically, once you get past the knee-jerk reaction.  And, as far as I am concerned, as a parent, my job is to indoctrinate my children into all sorts of modes of thinking–like being biased towards compassion and logic and or towards good dental hygiene by brushing their teeth before they go to bed and having good manners by saying “please” and “thank you”.  But, since I know that too many people hear the word “indoctrination” and think Jesus Camp, AND because I don’t want this to be a discussion of when and how indoctrination can become brainwashing, I’ll continue to forgo the term in favor of “teaching”.

I have been among some pagans who, in an attempt to respect their children’s freedom of belief and avoid the nasty connotations associated with the idea of “indoctrination”, refuse to in any way teach their children about spirituality. These people have instead chosen to avoid the subject, allow their children to be “exposed” to a variety of religious beliefs, and then make their own choice.

I believe this to be wrong, and here is why: either you actually believe what you claim or you do not. If you believe it, then you believe it to be true, a matter of fact. It is your job to teach your children matters of fact, and trust me, if you don’t teach them the facts as you see them either secular materialist culture or monotheism will gladly take your place. Your kids are going to get their ideas about these issues from somewhere, and the first place should not be television or the kids at school. It should be their parents.

Neal Jansons

Space Maid by Josephine Wall

When it comes to teaching Paganism to one’s children there seems to be two “camps” in this (though we, probably like most people, fall somewhere in the middle)–the first, that we should let our children find their own unfettered religious path without our interference (or guidance), and the second that we should be teaching our children our beliefs and practices and why they are our beliefs and practices.   What most Pagans, regardless of where they fall into this spectrum, do NOT believe, is that our children have to adopt our beliefs and practices as their own, or that the adoption of our beliefs and practices as their own is even the goal or end game of religious education.  Although, if we are completely and utterly honest without selves, there are probably religious viewpoints we would prefer they don’t adopt.

The Hubby and I, specifically, believe that a well-rounded religious education is a key component of cultural education, regardless of one’s religious beliefs.  We also make a point to teach our children our personal beliefs and practices as well as teaching them about the more prevalent beliefs and practices within the Pagan community.  We read mythology, we celebrate the holidays, and (because we are Unitarian Universalist as well), our children attend UU religious education classes.  We also talk about different religions–their beliefs and practices, and their interpretation of divinity.

But there is one thing that we have made a conscious decision *not* to do.

We don’t define Divinity.

We have never told the kids to follow a specific pantheon (our personal gods are *our* personal gods), and while they have heard us pray, its always been to a number of specific deities or to a generic God/Goddess/Divine.  They have never been instructed in a list of what gods we follow, or what their traits are (though, as mentioned, they have been exposed to mythology).  We believe that how our children choose to acknowledge the gods is their own business–what names they call them by, which ones they recognize, whom they choose to talk to or pray to, who they choose to worship.  After all, being a godly person is not necessarily conductive to making one goodly person.

Its been interesting to experience  my daughter’s discovery of her own pantheon of assorted beings.  Because we are very local in our practices as a family (and mine individually), you may see a theme–mostly beachy.  Some of them are traditional deities, just interpreted a little differently, and others are completely new.  One or two appear to be inspired or influenced by artwork or other media, as well as by the subjects we study as we homeschool.  And all together, it is quite interesting…

Chickadee’s Pantheon:
Mother Moon–duh, this one should be pretty obvious
Mama O’shen–The Ocean, I’m pretty sure she’s a mermaid.
Rini O’shen–a dolphin spirit, daugher of Mama O’shen
Father Mountain–this one is pretty obvious too
the Star Sisters–the spirits of the Big Dipper and Little Dipper
Gramma Planet–Chickadee’s name for the Earth, I think she’s like Captain Planet’s mom or something like that (we saw some Captain Planet online a while back, and she was mad because “they got it all wrong”)
Mr. Neptune–(and don’t forget the Mr.!) the hurricane keeper, son of Mama O’shen
Thunderer–the god of storms (other than hurricanes), his real name is a secret
Gaia–Mother Nature
Kaias–mermaid in outer space that keeps planets in orbit
the Sun King–another obvious one too, he ages and is reborn with the Wheel of the Year and his title changes a bit–baby Sun King, Sun Prince, etc
H’sheth–the crab spirit
Mimi–a fairy friend (one of the freckle fairies who are made of sunlight and leave freckles when they kiss you)
Garnet, Citrine, Topaz, Aquamarine, Emerald, Sapphire, Amethyst and Opal–more fairy friends (the Sabbat Fairies)
Hana, Trys and Koru–tidepool fairies
Iris–the wind messenger (she whispers messages on the wind, in the form of a rainbow)
Sa–the sea turtle spirit, who has a map of the world on her shell
G’geegle–sea gull spirit, I have the feeling he’s a bit of a trickster
Tana–a sort of dryad that takes care of forest animals

be overcome by justice

Tags

Delphic Maxims, Justice, paganism, Unitarian Universalism, UU principles

The Unitarian Universalist Association has a list of seven principles that its congregations (and members) affirm and promote.  The second of these principles calls for “justice, equity and compassion in human relations”, but in practice, I think this principle should be named after the fifth of the Delphic Maxims–to “be overcome by justice”.

Be overcome by justice.

If you look at a few definitions of justice (including its etymological history), there are a couple of key words that emerge. Fairness.  Equity.  Impartiality.  Due reward (or punishment).  Vindication of right.  It is a nuanced term with a variety of interpretations and applications by persons with differing opinions and values.  For me, justice is about treating all persons with fairness–sometimes  with equity, and sometimes with equality (which are not the same thing), and figuring out which is the more appropriate way to handle any given situation.

Justice denied anywhere diminishes justice everywhere.

~Martin Luther King, Jr

But what about being overcome by justice?  What the heck does that even mean?  Most definitions of overcome seem a bit negative–to defeat in conflict, to overpower, to conquer or defeat, to subdue…and I’m pretty sure this maxim doesn’t mean to get your butt kicked by justice.  So there has to be another way to look to look at things.

And I think that “another way” is where the UU 2nd principle meets Delphic Maxim #5.  Being overcome by justice, I think, means to be an instrument of justice:  To affirm and promote justice for all persons–fairness under the law, impartiality in our dealings with others as respect to their personal beliefs, equity in our responsibilities to society, equality in human rights.

I once read a blog post by Diane Sylvan that meant enough to me at the time that I quoted the relevant parts on my own blog about two years ago.  I’ve never been able to find the post again, but the phenomenon she describes here, for emotion, is the perfect explanation of how we are should be called to be an instrument of justice.  I think it is best described like this:  To cause change, justice must become energy, so in order to be expressed, it must first move through you.  The justice that you express will come back to you–but first it starts with you and within you. You have to feel justice.  Feel it in the very fiber of your being.  And only then, when it has filled you, can it overflow into others.

Its not so much about being overcome by justice, as to let justice come over you, into your heart, and to burn out the prejudice, the pettiness, the hate, the fear.  Only then can we hope to be just.

The moral arc of the universe is long, but it bends toward justice.

~Martin Luther King, Jr.

(this has been part of the “Delphic Maxim Blogging Party“, that was recently started by Star Foster, and is going on right now–if anyone else is participating in blogging about the Delphic Maxims, feel free to let me know, and I’ll add you to my link list!)

Honoring Our Service

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veteran's day

I was a United States Sailor.
I still support and defend the Constitution of the United States of America though I no longer obey the orders of those once appointed over me.
Following the legacy of my grandfather, I represented the fighting spirit of the Navy and those who had gone before me to defend freedom and democracy around the world.
I proudly served my country’s Navy combat team with Honor, Courage and Commitment.
I was (and still am) committed to excellence and the fair treatment of all.

~rewritten from the Sailor’s Creed, based on the idea from an similar re-write on a former shipmate’s FB status

In 2003 I left college just before the start of my senior year to join the United States Navy. I enlisted as an E-3 deck seaman with a guaranteed “A” school to become a hospital corpsman as part of an enlistment program that no longer exists. I joined the military because of a burgeoning sort of general discontent with the prospect of “settling” for a middle class, middle American, middle of the road existence. I joined the Navy because I love the beach and my grandfather’s sea stories. The enlistment bonus and the GI Bill didn’t hurt…but the desire to do something *else* and something *more*, something *different* and *better*, something *life changing and important* was the strongest impetus.  For six years I served my country, first as a deck seaman and then as a hospital corpsman.

Like any halfway introspective current or former military member, I can say that I didn’t always agree with the decisions that my country has made, or what was told to do or how to do it.  I can say that I have bled, sweat and cried for my country.  That I have carried out many a long, caffeinated night, standing watch overseas, on the sea and at home on shore.  And I have been blessed in my service–to meet a wonderful man that would become my husband and have two children with, to meet interesting people from around the globe (yes, globe–I have personally served in the United States Navy with persons from places as varied as the Philippines, Peru, Nigeria, Liberia, Canada, Australia, Mexico, Equador, Russia and even China), to travel the world (75% of the world is water) and live by the sea (and sometimes on it), and to serve not only my country but the men and women that serve and have served our country (as a hospital corpsman, my job was to provide medical care for active duty, veterans and retirees and their families).

Our family celebrates Veteran’s Day–not just on the 11th of November, but every day…and not just because we happen to be veterans.  We celebrate this day every day to remember the men and women that have given up a portion of their lives up to and including their life for this country and its citizens to “support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic”.  We do this because less people today truly understand the sacrifice of military service than at any other time in our nation’s history.  We remember and honor that sacrifice…sometimes with five simple words, and sometimes with our time and our pocketbooks.  And we pray…that our service and that of our brothers and sisters in uniform is remembered, that it has meaning and that it has made a difference.

Spirit of Life
whom we have called by many names
in thanksgiving and in anguish–

Bless the poets and those who mourn
Send peace for the soldiers who did not make the wars
but whose lives were consumed by them

Let strong trees grow above graves far from home
Breathe through the arms of their branches
The earth will swallow your tears while the dead singe
“No more, never again, remember me.”

For the wounded ones and those who received them back,
let there be someone ready when the memories come
when the scars pull and the buried metal moves
and forgiveness for those of use who were not there
for our ignorance

And in us, veterans in a forest of a thousand fallen promises,
let new leaves of protest grow on our stumps
Give us courage to answer the cry of humanitity’s pain
And with our bare hands, out of full hearts,
with all our intelligence
let us create peace.

~a Memorial Day prayer by Barbara Pescan, from the UUA’s booklet “Bless All Who Serve”