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bay witch musings

~ thoughts on parenting, paganism, science, books, witchcraft, nature, feminism, unitarian universalism, herbalism, cooking, conservation, crafting, the state of humanity, and life by the sea

bay witch musings

Tag Archives: pagan parenting

Follow Your Jiminy Cricket

06 Wednesday May 2015

Posted by thalassa in interfaith, pagan parenting, paganism, parenting

≈ 10 Comments

Tags

children, conscience, diversity, friendship, interfaith friends, pagan parenting, parenting

Chickadee was quieter than usual Monday afternoon, but it wasn’t until dinner time until I found out that another little girl in her class “can’t be friends anymore” because Chickadee isn’t a Christian.

Le sigh.  I knew this day would come eventually.  But 2nd grade?  Really?

What kind of asshole parent has their 8 year old so indoctrinated that they won’t play with kids that don’t do religion with Jesus?  Totally not WWJD, the hypocrites.  Can’t blame the little girl though, its the parents–what a smallness of spirit and an insecurity of the heart they must have.

Chickadee said the little girl asked her if she “could just pretend (to be Christian” to which Chickadee responded with “If I have to pretend to be something I’m not for you to be my friend, then you really aren’t my friend.”  When I asked what about it (being sad), she said, “Yes, but Mo-om, I have to follow my Jiminy Cricket” (meaning her conscience).

As a parent, I’m elated that my child is independent enough to stand up for herself…and I’m just a little bit heartbroken that not only is she losing a friend over this, but that a parent would put their child in a position to have to give up a friend because they are different.  That’s not how we have raised our children (but I can’t take all the credit–Chickadee is the kind of kid that takes on learning sign language in order to make friends with a little girl with a cochlear implant).  I can’t even fathom parenting that would seek to separate children from making friends on the basis of being different–what makes us beautiful is what makes us different.  And luckily that is not how most of her friends have been raised, since we are fortunate enough to live in a fairly diverse community (for the South).

But still.  This rankles.  And since I was concerned that this could become a problem for the rest of the school year, I spoke with her teacher after school on Tuesday to (as I put it to my mom) “to inform her of the situation, in case it became a problem”.

I think her teacher was more upset than I was.  As far as her teacher is concerned, not wanting to be someone’s friend because they belong to a different religion is “no different than choosing not to be someone’s friend because of their skin color” (and patently unacceptable in her classroom).   And, as far as the school is concerned, religion is something you talk about at home, not with your classmates.*  Chickadee informed me after school today that her class “got talked to” about those two concepts….

One of the challenges of Pagan parenting (or any parenting that isn’t in line with social norms) is helping foster the sort of confidence that lets a child stand up to their peers while maintaining an integrity to themselves (a second challenge was keeping Daddy from going nuclear over the threat to his precious pixie punk princess).

I can only hope that in the years to come she retains this ability–she is going to need it on many more fronts than this one.

*This is an approach that I understand, and can appreciate, if only because I can respect that it is easier (with all of the other crap schools and teachers have to deal with) to just not encourage it.  Although, I strongly think that schools should teach about world religions as a matter of fact, as part of world cultures, geography, history, and literature (the key words being teach , about, and fact)…something which is actually quite legal when done well , even in a public school setting.  Religious literacy is a crucial piece of cultural literacy and failing to teach about the basic facts of religions is a failing of our society.  With that having been said, I’m fairly sure that many US students would be failed (and I don’t mean in terms of grades) if if their schools did teach world religions (and I’m pretty sure this is a vicious cycle of ignorance).

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From the Wee Grimoire: All Creatures Great and Small (Pagan style)

10 Friday Apr 2015

Posted by thalassa in children, enviornment, inspiration, interfaith, nature, quote, science

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

all creatures great and small, childrens song, pagan parenting

image

 

The hubby and I have re-purposed a number of things from our Christian childhoods with our own kids…to toss out a few examples–Jesus Loves Me became The Goddess Loves Me*, Twas the Night Before Christmas became The Night Before Yule, and our family’s manger scene hosts a baby Sun King, Mother Nature, and a herald fairy. Another one that we have adapted was a favorite of mine as a child, I figured I’d share because apparently they are “getting too old for bedtime songs”.

All things bright and beautiful,
All creatures great and small,
All things wise and wonderful,
Nature made them all.

Each little flower that opens,
Each little bird that sings,
Selected for their glowing colors,
Evolution made their tiny wings.

All things bright and beautiful…

The purple headed mountain,
The stream running by;
The sunset and the moonrise,
That brightens up our sky.

All things bright and beautiful…

The cold wind of the Winter,
The zebras as they run;
The lizard in the desert
Warming ‘neath the noontime sun.

All things bright and beautiful…

The heron fishing in the river,
The bears emerging from their dens,
The hatching of an egg
in a nest full of baby wrens.

All things bright and beautiful…

belleisland3

The redwoods in the forest,
The ocean where dolphins play,
The sunset across the prairie,
Bees gathering honey every day;

All things bright and beautiful…

Selection gave us eyes to see them,
And lips that we might tell,
How wonderful is Evolution,
That has made things tolerably well.

All things bright and beautiful…

IMG_0038

*If you were wondering the words for The Goddess Loves Me (which could easily be adapted to any number of deities), they go something like this:

The Goddess loves me this I know, my heart and soul tell me so.  In her arms I’ll safely stay, as I walk the path we’ve laid.  Yes the Goddess loves me, yes the Goddess loves me.  Yes the Goddess loves me, the whole world tells me so.

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From the Wee Grimoire: Avatar and the Elements

03 Friday Apr 2015

Posted by thalassa in pagan parenting, paganism, parenting

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

#baywitchproject, avatar, contemporary paganism, earth, elements, fire, pagan parenting, sabbat fairies, tv, water, wee grimoire

In our family practice, we call the elements by “their S names”–Sea, Sky, Stone, and Spark.  Sea because of its role in the water cycle and because it is a a significant part of our bioregion. Stone because it is another name for “rock” (the rock cycle!) and because it is the origin of sand and soil.  Sky because its is mostly air, and the interaction between the different states of air here and there drive our weather and climate.  And Spark because, IMO what has traditionally been called “fire” is really energy (and by energy, I mean solar energy, heat energy, chemical reaction energy, gravitational energy, electrical energy, etc).  While Sea, Stone, and Sky can act and be acted upon, Spark is truly the only active element–Spark drives the waves and tides, the winds and currents, erosion and plate tectonics.

But, when we think about the qualities of the elements and how we can incorporate them into ourselves, many of the tradition (and not so traditional) associations and correspondences still hold true.  Many of the not-at-all-traditional sources of these associations and correspondences can be quite enjoyable and instructive as well…

…which is why Avatar: The Last Air Bender (the cartoon, not the movie) is part of our “video grimoire” as Chickadee calls it.

(because who wouldn’t want to be a bender?)

Uncle Iroh: Fire is the element of power the people of the fire nation have desire and will and the energy to achieve what they want.

Earth is the element of substance the people of the earth kingdom are diverse and strong, they are persistent and enduring.

Air is the element of freedom. The air nomads detached themselves from worldly concerns and found peace and freedom. Also, they apparently had pretty good senses of humor.

Water is the element of change. The people of the water tribe are capable of adapting to many things. They have a deep sense of community and love that holds them together through anything.

Prince Zucho: Why are you telling me these things?

Uncle Iroh: It is important to draw wisdom from many different places.  If we take it from only one place, it becomes rigid and stale.  Understanding others, the other elements and the other nations will help you become whole.

from Avatar: The Last Airbender; Season 2, episode 9, around the 13 minute mark

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Asatru Children’s ABC’s

25 Thursday Apr 2013

Posted by thalassa in children, pagan, paganism, parenting

≈ 8 Comments

Tags

alphabet, asatru, heathen, heathen kids, pagan parenting

Now, I am not Heathen, but my good forum friend ThorsSon was for quite a long time, and he wrote this and gave me permission to post it.  Whether or not you are Heathen, its some interesting mythology (a good kids myth source for Norse mythology is D’Aulaires’ Book of Norse Myths).

Edited to add (5May13): Just came across this awesome post in my reader with some other resources.

Enjoy!

Asatru Children’s ABC’s

A is for Asgard, where the Gods spend their day.
B is for Bifrost, between the worlds it lay.

C is for Courage, the strength to overcome fear.
D is for Day, she follows Night throughout the year.

E is for Embla, the mother of us all.
F is for Freyja, chooser of those who fall.

G is for Gungnir, from its course it never strays.
H is for Heimdall, his horn, Gjallar, he plays.

I is for Iduna, keeper of the apples of gold.
J is for Jormungand, around the earth, his tail he holds.

K is for Kvasir, from his blood came inspiration.
L is for Lore, the stories for our edification.

M is for Mjollnir, Jotuns it smites.
N is for the Norns, the Wyrd they write.

O is for Odin, he, who Fenrir shall fight.
P is for Protection, given by Thor’s great might.

Q is for Question, for knowledge to gain.
R is for Ragnarok, when all begins again.

S is for Sigurd, the slayer of the dragon.
T is for Thor, thundering in his wagon.

U is for Ullr, by whom the hunt is blessed.
V is for the Vanir, by whom nature is dressed.

W is for Wyrd, the web that connects all things.
X is for Xenodochy and the Luck it brings.
*(xenodochy = hospitality… you try thinking of an Asatru related
word that begins with ‘X’

Y is for Yggdrasil, where Odinn hung alone.
Z is for Zisa, by whom peace is sown.

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From the Wee Grimoire: Twas the Night before Yule

20 Thursday Dec 2012

Posted by thalassa in children, holidays, pagan

≈ 8 Comments

Tags

pagan parenting, sabbat fairies, winter solstice, yule

‘Twas the night before Yule, and all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse;
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that the Yule Faeries soon would be there;
The children weren’t nestled all snug in their beds,
They were dancing ’round a bonfire, instead.
With Mama and her drum, and the stars shining bright,
As we settled in to celebrate the longest of nights —
When up near the house there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the circle to see what was the matter.
Away up the path, I flew like a flash,
Peeked in through the windows, and took a great gasp.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But eight tiny fairies, with wings so perfectly clear!
They carried presents much bigger than they–
I knew it was magic they brought on this day.
Everything they touched glinted and glowed
As they laid out each gift in a sparkle of snow.
They sang and danced, all cheery and free’
“We’re helping Santa to make his deliveries
for all the children that dance and play
to celebrate the Sun King’s birthday.”
I crept away slowly, not wanting to bother,
and headed back down to where we were gathered.
I’m sure I was spotted, as the faeries flew high,
For a flash of wings glittered near my eye
As I heard one say “Have a blessed Night!”
And I know now that Mama was right–
While Santa is busy getting ready for Christmas,
He has special helpers for the littlest Pagans and Wiccans!

by me

Meet Garnet: You might remember the Sabbat Faeries…but if you don’t, its okay–I can tell you again!  You do remember that tonight is The Longest Night, where we celebrate the dying of the Old Sun King and the birth of the Baby Sun King?  Tomorrow is what we call Yule, or the Winter Solstice–the time when the Baby Sun King is reborn and the days will start to grow longer again as the Sun gets stronger.

Yule is the favorite holiday of Garnet, who loves the snow and evergreens.  In fact, Garnet actually lives in an evergreen–the 34th branch of the biggest, tallest pine tree in the Piney Woods!  When Garnet decided to move from the city to be closer to her friends (she used to live in New York City’s Central Park), a cardinal friend built her a nest there, so it would feel like being in the city, with its tall buildings.  He even donated some of his feathers to make a nice waterproof roof, and a fox friend donated some of her fur to make the nest cozy and warm.  Garnet loves her perch in the Piney woods, where she can see all the way across the forest.

Garnet is in charge of the Winter Solstice, and organizing all the fairies to deliver the gifts for Pagan children that celebrate the Winter Solstice.  She had gotten to know Santa one winter, and he was so upset that he felt he wasn’t doing a proper job at Yule, because he was still trying to get ready for Christmas, that she offered for her and her friends to help.  You see…during the rest of the year, Garnet is busy with her regular job–she helps teach the baby birds how to sing their special songs, but by winter, they’ve all learned them!  She was happy to help Santa out since she would be sitting around waiting for Spring to come around again otherwise.  And so, Garnet makes sure that the fairies pick up the presents from Santa on time to deliver them to all the boys and girls that celebrate Yule while Santa double checks his list and packs his sleigh.

What was that you asked?  What about Santa’s cookies and hot chocolate?  Oh!  don’t worry–that’s why we make the cookies extra small!  And use your doll tea set!  Besides…fairies have a very high metabolism.  Why, I bet they eat as much as Santa!

Chimneys?  No…fairies don’t like those–the soot makes them sneeze!  And since they are so very tiny, they can fit through key holes and window cracks.

How do the presents not get squished?  I have no idea…except to say, its magic.

https://nuannaarpoq.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/22973-yuleblogparty.jpg

A note from Mom:  This is where I probably should mention that we don’t normally treat Santa or the Sabbat Fairies as “real”–at least not as “real” as the literal, physical (or otherwise) sort of entity.  We don’t lie to our kids.  Chickadee would be the first to tell you that Santa is “made up, but that’s ok because he’s still cool” followed up by a “but I’m not supposed to say he’s not real, because it might hurt someone’s feelings” (she’ll probably tell you the same thing about Jesus) (my objection isn’t to her saying he’s either isn’t real, but that she hasn’t learned to do so with much tact yet).  But we do tell stories.  There is a difference, and even a very small child is capable of understanding that difference.  Kids are much better at suspended disbelief than we are.  We have always (from the get go) separated the idea of something being “true” from something that contains “Truth”.  We follow a belief system seeped in mythology, mythology that is symbolic and allegorical and powerful…but not true.  So, for our kids…Santa (and the Sabbat Faeries) are a story, and stories are important.

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None is as free as one born on the wave, Born on the wave to the song of the sea; None can be brave until they are free, Free of all, but the call of the sea.

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About me

*Just an FYI: If you are wondering why there's not been a new post recently, new posts have been a bit slowed down by the new job...*

I am a (occasionally doting) wife, a damn proud momma of two adorable and brilliant children, a veteran of the United States Navy, beach addict, (American) Civil War reenactor and Victorian natural history aficionado, lover of steampunk, canoeing fanatic, science professional (and amateur in my preferred field), graduate student, and semi-erratic blogger.

If you have found this blog, you have also figured out that we are a Pagan family.  More aptly, I would describe my theological belief as a pragmatic sort of pantheism with a polytheistic practice and my religion as Unitarian Universalist Pagan.  I practice a bioregional witchery and herbalism (foraging ftw!), mainly working with domestic and elemental magics, and I have a thing for sea deities. For the most part, my blog covers a bit of all of these things, with a bit of randomness tossed in from time to time.

I enjoy playing with my kids, chillin with the hubster, swimming, being nerdy, the great outdoors, NCIS re-runs, chai tea--iced or hot, yoga, trashy romance novels, singing off key, kitchen experiments (of the culinary and non types), surfing the internet and painting.  I also like long walks on the beach and NPR's Science Friday and Neil deGrasse Tyson.  I love to read, sleep in on the weekend, and make the Halloween costumes for my kids every year. I am passionate about watershed ecology and local conservation efforts and vehemently anti-disposable plastics. But most of all...I'm just trying to take extravagant pleasure in the act of being alive.

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