Pagan Values Blogject 2013

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Pagan Values, pagan values month, PVE2013

Its that time of year again!

June 1st, the start of Pagan Values Month…  I’ve been participating in this for three of the past four years that its been going on.  If you haven’t participated before, give it a whirl!

I haven’t quite decided what I want to talk about this time out, but in the meantime, I was at a bit of a loss for what I wanted to talk about this time around, so I decided to ask the Hubby if he had any ideas…as a result we will be blogging this time around on honor, courage, commitment, chivalry, and compassion.  In the meantime though, I figured I’d share the list of my past posts…

My Previous Pagan Values Blogging Month topics:
Respect (2009)
Plurality (2009)
Sacredness (2009)
Experiential Gnosis (2009)
Hospitality (2011)
Integrity (2011)
Service (2011)
Conservation (2011)
my body is my temple (2012)
put your money where your mouth is (2012)
live where you are (2012)
pass it on (2012)

 

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Maxim Monday: Gratify Without Harming

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#delphicmaxims, #paganvalues, an' it harm none, Delphic Maxims, empathy, harm none, maxim monday, Pagan Values, wicca

…eight words the Wiccan rede fulfill

A *gorgeous* banner from The Crackling Crows (check out her blog for more examples of her work, and keep tabs on when she reopens her etsy store!!)

I’d like to call Delphic Maxim #136 “the maxim for Wiccans”!

So, I’m a big fan of words (English or otherwise)–what they mean, where they come from, alternate and less popular secondary meanings, how they are used and how they can be used–subverted, if you will, etc.  The one, obvious term that these two sayings have in common is the word “harm”, and that is the word I want to focus on first.  Etymologically, “harm” means to hurt, it means grief, sorrow, insult, pain, and (interestingly to me) evil.

Evil tends to be an interesting subject in Pagan communities.  Views of what constitutes “evil” as a definition and as an action or behavior vary, but tend to emphasize the “I know it when I see it” subjectiveness of the idea of evil.  Of the many discussions (online and IRL) that I have encountered on the topic, my favorite definition comes from an essay on the Wiccan Rede from Proteus Coven—evil is a rip in the fabric of empathy.

We can only act with indifference towards the needs and feelings of others if they don’t seem to matter to us. When we are in a state of empathy, wholehearted and open awareness of our essential connection, then we know — experientially, not just theoretically — that our actions must inevitably come back on us. We cannot then cause harm without experiencing it ourselves.

(from the same essay)

I think it helps to look at harm in this way as well…as a rip in the fabric of empathy.  When we consider our actions on the level of empathy, what we do becomes personal.  It is hard to purposely cause harm when you know what that harm feels like.  As a mom, its my job to teach my children empathy–because (contrary to what some think) it isn’t actually a natural state (*cough* Ann Coulter *cough* Rush Limbaugh *cough*).  Empathy is something that develops over time and is a learned state of emotion, understanding and behavior.  Some kids ‘take’ to empathy more easily than others–Chickadee has an overload of empathy, and Sharkbait struggles with it (a common phenomenon in kids with ADHD).  As a parent of a kid with ADHD, I will admit that it can be downright hard to maintain an empathetic relationship with a kid with ADHD…in and of itself, maintaining that fabric of empathy is essential, not only to not harm our relationship, but to not harm Sharkbait’s capacity to develop socially (social skills are often a struggle for kids with ADHD as well).

The biggest problem with looking at harm (or evil for that matter) in this way is that it becomes subjective.  What I am sensitized to, in terms of my capacity for empathy overall and my ability to empathize on a particular subject specifically, differs from what and how another might feel.  For most Pagans, I doubt this is a problem (for most UU’s as well…I don’t think I’d be making an understatement if I said that defining moral absolutes is pretty low on the list for most of us)…but we all still differ here.  If the focus of my behavior should be to avoid or alleviate harm (and I think the latter is implied as a substitute) and my capacity to empathize is variable with the capacity of others, then what I perceive as undesirable behaviors will also differ.

To do as I will, or (in the Greek version) to gratify or seek gratification, depends on a subjective idea of beneficial (harmless, or at least relivable harm) actions.  Many a conversation that I  have engaged in or observed in the Pagan community has reached the eventual conclusion that causing no harm is an impossibility.  As guiding ideals, these are both wonderful places to start exploring one’s behavior as an individual and one’s place in a community.  But…as a practice, it is impossible to live to such a degree, where every action is harmless (as it seems some have interpreted the Wiccan Rede).  So thank goodness that ain’t what it says!

Both of these maxims come back full circle to the idea of “harm”–really of not harming.  For the Wiccan Rede its about the phrasing–“An it harm none”, literally, IF it causes no harm, do what you want.  And this phrasing brings it parallel to the Delphic Maxim–IF it causes no harm, indulge in that which brings pleasure and satisfaction!   Neither acts as a prohibition of harm, but instead both ask us to consider the results of our actions (of our whims and pleasures) and encourages us to choose the methods and madness that cause the least harm.

thanksperience

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#paganvalues, blessing, Pagan Values, prayer, thanksgiving, unconventional faith

If the only prayer you ever say in your entire life is thank you, it will be enough.

~Meister Eckhart

Thank you, thanks-giving, thanking, thanks… What the heck is a “thank” anyhow?*

I’d like to imagine a tangible (and sniffable) “thank” would look something like this.  Chickadee thinks that a “thank” might look like a big, fat, fluffy white cloud floating in the blue sky…or a fuzzy pink and purple ball.  Sharkbait thinks that a “thank” comes on a stick and tastes like chocolate milk.

A “thank” from nature, I think, looks something like this:

Thanksgiving is generally touted as a day to give thanks for the things we are thankful for, whatever they may be.  And that’s fantastic…giving thanks and recognizing our blessings, are (at least in my humble opinion) pretty darn important.  Heck, as days of thanksgiving (to a particular deity) are the basis for an incredibly huge chunk of Pagan holidays and the act of giving thanks (to a particular deity/pantheon) is a major part of Pagan religions, we should all be down with the idea of the ability and active participation of giving thanks to be a quintessentially Pagan value.

But I think that sometimes we can be ungracious (regardless of our religion or faith) in receiving thanks.  We forget to really hear the thanks that are directed our way–both the “thank you” that is explicitly stated, and the ones that are more subtle.  To put it bluntly, we wouldn’t know a “thank” if it was pink and fuzzy and tasted of chocolate milk on a stick and was handed to us on a silver platter.

The world around us creates a thousand thank yous, if only we know how and where and when to find them.  It is in the curve of a baby’s smooth cheek and the bright giggle of a squirmy preschooler wrapped in a fluffy towel after a beach afternoon.  It might be in a meal, or a book, from a grateful look, or a hug, or an audible “thank you”. Thanks are everywhere.

Just because we didn’t hear it in a form that we understood through our narrow filter of the world didn’t mean it wasn’t there.  Really look, and listen, and feel for a change.  Find the thanks that are all around us.

And perhaps in our finding of thanks, we can learn to create our own to share with others (even when we have nothing tangible or direct to thank them for), everywhere we go.  When was the last time someone thanked you just for being you?  For just being there?  Maybe you didn’t notice, because its not something that people usually say with words.

Imagine a world where everything that everyone created was a “thank”.  Imagine a world filled with heart-shaped lavender hand warmers, sea foam and white fluffy clouds, hope-filled pink and purple fluff, and (most importantly) chocolate milk on a stick.  Imagine a world where Thanksgiving wasn’t just a day, or a phrase, but was embedded in our every experience.

Now get off your keester and make it happen…handmade heart-shaped lavender hand warmers aren’t that hard to make.

If the only prayer you ever hear is a thank you, you have been blessed.  And if you didn’t hear it, maybe its because you were listening for mere words.

~thalassa

*(What a “thank” really is–or at least where it comes from, etymologically speaking.)

The Bandwagon

Tags

bandwagon, obesity, pagan obesity, pagan trends, Pagan Values, pagan veiling, paganism

I always find it interesting when a topic starts making the rounds.  Generally, when I blog, its about whatever the heck pops into my brain.  Sometimes stuff pops into my brain by virtue of what I’ve read on the news, or on other blogs, or seen in real life.  Sometimes I then find that other people have been thinking and writing about the same topics, and it seems I’ve joined The Bandwagon.  I really hate that.  Occasionally I make a conscious decision to join The Bandwagon, but my general rule is to jump out of the way when I see one hurtling towards me.  Today though, I’m just going to blab about The Bandwagon (and my conflicting thoughts about it), in the context of two currently hot topics making the rounds in the Pagan blogosphere–veiling and obesity.

I’ve considered talking about both of these (the first in the context of dress as an extension of religious expression, since I don’t have much to say on veiling in particular), but given the current hotly contested debate on both…I find myself unwilling to be a part of a train wreck quite yet (at least without getting this out of the way).  From the outside, both “discussions” are filled with a heck of a lot of attitude, derision, and sanctimoniousness on the part of people that seem to feel entitled, or even obligated, to pass condemnational judgement on what personal actions other people are participating in (personal actions, I might add, that don’t affect the commenter)(and yes, I realize I just turned a noun into a non-existent adjective).  As a member of a community that generally prides itself on its open-mindedness and acceptance, I find myself to be a bit saddened by the insensitivity and hypocrisy that I see in these conversations (lest I sound like I’m practicing condemnational judgement, there have been some beautiful statements of understanding and sensitivity as well).

And so, I think a more important thing to discuss right now is The Bandwagon, and how it affects the conversations that need to be had within our communities, and in a wider society.

The first thing that I want to get out of the way is the idea that The Bandwagon is always bad, because its not.  The Bandwagon can actually do some good.  It brings attention to things we might not notice otherwise.  One person can get drowned out in a crowd, but 10, or 20 or 100 or more people all talking about the same topic can bring to our attention an issue we should be informed about or alert us to action that we should be taking.  The Bandwagon has the capacity to act as a vehicle for discussion and debate across a community that allows for the inclusion of voices that might not otherwise be heard.  It also establishes tracks for others to follow by virtue of paving a way that might not have existed before (yes, I know the puns are awful) and can sort of ease the way for newcomers.  But the very nature of The Bandwagon that produces these benefits also produces its pitfalls.

The Bandwagon is an ephemeral and amorphous undirected phenomenon, open to just about any interested party for the duration of their interest.  And here in lies the problem.  Lots of people jump onto The Bandwagon just because its there.  They don’t bother to take the time to know their fellow riders, they don’t take the time to know what The Bandwagon is about from all perspectives of its issue, they don’t take the time to figure out where The Bandwagon has been or where it is headed, and when The Bandwagon is no longer convenient for them, they will leave.  This lack of commitment to The Bandwagon leads to a lack of respect for other participants and can damage whatever issue or cause The Bandwagon is addressing in a way that leaves a giant mess for those individuals that actually care.

As an example, lets take a look at veiling in Paganism.  Until a few months ago,  I wouldn’t have given a second thought to someone that told me that they covered their hair as part of their commitment to their deity (or whatever other spiritual reason they had for doing so).  After all, I have encountered people that stopped cutting their hair as part of their personal Paganism, people that incorporated tattooing and/or piercing as part of their personal Paganism, people that make all sorts of seemingly odd (in terms of mainstream fashion) stylistic choices as part of their personal Paganism (kilts, fairy wings, leather studded dog collars, even plain dress), etc.  I’ve even met a person that thought their personal Paganism called them to never again wear shoes (unfortunately, they were in the military, and that didn’t quite work out for them).  But then, Star Foster wrote a blog post on the subject, which cause a slight kerfuffle, and has ultimately led to a bit of a debate, some of which has been a bit harsh (just read the comments on some of the links).  Veiling seems now to be a popular thing–if not to try out, at least to talk about.  Everyone seems to have an opinion about it.  Some of them seem to be a bit of a knee-jerk reaction against certain prevailing stereotypes, others are downright hostile, but for the most part…they seem to be fairly supportive, or at least ambivalent.  In  some ways, The (Veiling) Bandwagon seems to be doing some good by  raising awareness about the hostility that people that choose veiling can face, to inspire a new form of spiritual expression for those that might not be happy with their present choices,  and to create spaces for those that veil to engage in communities they might not have otherwise known about.  But, on the other hand, its also brought out some of the latent intolerance that has always been part of the Pagan community.

That latent intolerance, I think, is The Bandwagon’s biggest problem.  If you are going to jump on board, you need to do your homework first.  Failure here leads to all sorts of problems later.  For the love of all that is good and holy, don’t join just because it is something new and different.  Get to know the people that are actually involved in the movement, learn about its history, and take the time to figure out what direction it is headed into.  Determine the level and scope that you are willing to commit to The Bandwagon, and then decide if and how you are going to join it.  And, if you aren’t going to join it, figure out if your criticism is actually necessary or if its just a bunch of hot air.  If all I cared about on a particular topic was disseminating my opinions on what someone else is doing (particularly when what they are doing has little effect on me directly), then I’m not sure that I’m really being authentic in terms of what is meaningful to me, and I’d hope I have enough common sense and courtesy to treat the subject in a way respects the people that *do* find it meaningful.  I can state my opinion in such a manner, but I think that is ultimately a disservice to those that are a part of The Bandwagon and those that may be interested in being a part of it when one does so from a position of privilege without acknowledging that privilege and working to overcome the lack of understanding I have because of it.  Even worse though, is when the opinion is flat-out insulting and even damaging (or expressed in such a way that it seems so).

Which brings us to our second example, the recent discussion of obesity in Paganism.  This is a bit of a more recent and more hotly contested discussion, which seems to have been accidentally sparked by Peter Dybing.  There have been a number of posts in response: some outraged, some a bit less outraged, some thoughtful, some humorously indignant, some kindly critical, some detailing previous personal experiences at opening this can of worms.  The posts themselves aren’t so much the issue, as the commentary that often flows afterwards.  Its sometimes hard to tell going back, once an author edits or eliminates some of the worst offenders, but in many cases, both tone and actual words are downright insulting.   Also, in this case, a good number of the people involved just have no freaking clue what they are talking about, and the rest only know the poorly reported talking points of incomplete science (and some of them seem to think that makes them an expert). The reality is that there are so many factors that have to do with weight–genetics, ecology of gut micro-fauna, base metabolic rates, activity level, muscle efficiency, dietary content, etc, and even then, those factors are only the tip of the iceberg of the factors that contribute to health for The (Obesity) Bandwagon to be meaningful. And, in this case, I fear that the amount of hubris and idiocy flying  around is probably going to do more damage than good.

Humans like things to be simple.  In this case, fat=unattractive=unhealthy=bad, thin=attractive=healthy=good.  The dichotomy here has been pretty clearly defined by society, and the manner in which the topic has been introduced in the Pagan community has unfortunately not taken the reality of complexity into play.  This leaves one side speaking from a place of privilege, and the other pissed off.  Not a good way to do any good.  The only simple fact about any real issue is that its not simple and it can’t be reduced to an equation.  The Bandwagon is not, and by its very nature, cannot be equipped to handle complex issues.  The Bandwagon has no driver, no road, and no brakes.  Sure, it can bring attention to complex issued by reducing them to a simple soundbite, but unless the participants of The Bandwagon are willing to do the hard work behind the scenes and after The Bandwagon has crashed, to create meaningful and compassionate conversations, The Bandwagon usually just runs people over like an avalanche or a derailed train.

So, where does that leave us?  Heck if I know…but I’d hope it would leave us all more thoughtful without our words and deeds.  I’d hope it would leave us more compassionate with one another, more prone to complete research and looking at the big picture and listening to one another without jumping to conclusions.  I’d hope it would leave us more likely to leave The Bandwagon and engage in real, meaningful conversations and projects that celebrate diversity and cooperation.  I’ll keep hoping, but I wouldn’t bet on it.

 

 

 

 

Maxim Monday: Give Back What You Have Received

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#delphicmaxims, #paganvalues, delphic maxim blogging party, Delphic Maxims, maxim monday, Pagan Values

Oops…I’m late getting this finished and posted.  I wonder if there is a maxim about that? Anyhow,  I’ve also skipped ahead a bit as well for this one, because I felt profound about it at the time.  I’m pretty sure my moment of profundity has left my brain, so we’ll see what I can manage at 6 am without coffee!

Delphic Maxim #55:  

Give Back What You Have Received (Λαβων αποδος)

Not being able to get much help from trying to directly translate the ancient Greek, I turned to my old standby Google, which translate  Delphic Maxim #55 as “gripping acceptance”.  Don’t get me wrong, I (of course) love the message of “gripping acceptance”, but I’m not feeling that as the right approach this time.  Taking this maxim at its translational face value (though slightly deeper than “return the stuff you’ve borrowed from your neighbor”), I like to think of this particular maxim as the “Golden Rule for Greeks, with attitude“,  and it can be applied on both an individual and on a community level.

Every society seems to have some version of the so-called Golden Rule.  Something that suggests the manner in which we treat others should be connected to how we expect to be treated in return. On the first reading, “give back what you have received” would suggest that if someone does you ill, that you should do the same to them.  And, in a situation-by-situation basis, that might actually be appropriate (though, I would argue, not in an eye-for-an-eye sort of way).  But, if you look at the Delphic Maxims all together, there is a pretty clear pattern of expected conduct: Control Yourself, Help your friends, Despise strife, Practice what is just, Speak well of everyone, Shun what belongs to others, etc.  If someone else is already following those maxims, “giving back what you have received” is a bit of a no-brainer.  And if they are not, well, there are maxims for that too: Be on your guard, Despise a slanderer, Despise AND Shun evil (which are actually two separate maxims), etc.  On an individual level, taken in conjunction with the maxims as a whole, “giving back what you have received” is just a slightly more toothy version of “doing unto others”.

But you can also read this as applied to one’s role in a community…and I think, given our current political climate, that might be the more meaningful of the two.  Give back what you have recieved. That education that you have, there’s an 86% chance it was paid for by tax payers…give it back by making sure others can have it as well.  That health care you enjoy because you are lucky enough to have a job that provides health care…give it back by making sure others can have it as well.  The air you breathe, water you drink, and land you live off of…well, you can’t exactly give it back, but you can certainly give back to it and ensure that others can enjoy it in the future.   And, before anyone thinks I’ve overreaching with my modern liberal sensibilities, a complete reading of the Delphic Maxims also includes far more obvious suggestions such as: Share the load of the unfortunate, Gratify without harming, Be happy with what you have, Down-look no one, Acquire wealth justly, and Give what you have.

Give back what you have received, be a better person for it, and make a better community (and world).  Damn, the Greeks were smart!

*this has been a post of the “Delphic Maxims Blogging Party”, be sure to check out other Delphic Maxims posts on the web!